


if the truth has been forbidden

by icecreamandlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Eleanor isn't even worth tagging, Zayn's mentioned like once, it just kind of... happened, it's been sitting in my drafts for a while tho, nervous!harry, oops just did it, they're still famous, this is just a tiny little thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1274740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecreamandlarry/pseuds/icecreamandlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry finally tells Louis he loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if the truth has been forbidden

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is a thing that happened
> 
> The title is from [Read All About It](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaAVByGaON0) by Emeli Sandé (this song is literally the fucking anthem of louis&harry). I love this song so much, you people have no idea.
> 
> -N

**"If the truth has been forbidden, then we’re breaking all the rules."**

-Emeli Sandé,  _Read All About It_

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Lou?”

Louis lifted his head until he could see Harry’s face and squinted his eyes as if to say _yes, how can I help you? What could you possibly want?_.

“Have you seen this? This trend?”

“Obviously I haven’t, mate. I’ve not been on twitter since me and El broke up.”

Harry knows full well what Louis would see if he logged onto twitter. Tweets telling him that _it’s finally time_ and _you shaved the beard!!._ Harry doesn’t want to upset Louis anymore, so he closes his laptop, hiding the trend ‘Larry can come out now’ at the top and right below it reads ‘Louis’ biggest mistake’.

~*~

“Is Louis okay?” Zayn asks when he’s on the phone with Harry the next day. “It’s been weeks mate, I don’t understand why he’s so upset about it.”

Harry checked over his shoulder to make sure that Louis was still in the kitchen before maneuvering into the living room with plates in both hands, phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder. “He’s not okay, Z, but I don’t know why. It’s not like he and El were even in a real relationship. I thought that he would be happy again now that the contract is up. He can live however he wants to, _with_ whoever he wants to.” Harry hoped that his tone didn’t give away his silent _me, I want him to be with me_.

It obviously didn’t work. “Listen, I know that you love him or whatever, but don’t you try and force yourself on him now that he’s not with Eleanor. If he wants to be with you, he will.” Harry rolls his eyes. He wouldn’t _force_ Louis to do anything. Maybe just give him a little push. _A little push towards_ me, Harry thinks. “Give him time, mate. You’ve got plenty of it and he’s still living with you. There’s not more you can ask for.”

“There’s plenty more. A relationship. Love. Sex-“

“Who’re you having sex with?” Louis interrupts, walking carefully into the room with two cups full of tea.

“Zayn,” Harry mouths.

“You’re having sex with Zayn?”

Harry rolls his eyes and plucks one of the mugs out of Louis’ hands, spilling some onto their hardwood floor. He’ll get it later. “No, you idiot. I’m not having sex with anyone.”

“That’s obvious.” Louis and Zayn say at the same time. Harry decides that now’s a good time to hang up the phone.

“What was that about,” Louis asks once they are both settled in, watching The Breakfast Club for what must be the twentieth time.

Harry swallows his bite of pasta and shrugs. “It’s nothing, just having a chat with Zayn. Perrie sends her love, by the way.”

Louis eyes him, but must decide that it’s better to not push it, because he turns the volume back up and focuses his attention on Molly Ringwald and her absolutely horrid 80s hairstyle.

After the movie is over, Louis is already sound asleep, feet rested in Harry’s lap. Harry debates but finally decides that it’s really bad for Louis’ back to sleep on the couch, so Harry carefully moves out from beneath him and hefts him up bridal style. He moves a bit, but his eyes are closed, so Louis assumes that he’s still asleep.

It isn’t until Harry’s laid Louis down on his bed, that he makes a noise, the loud squeak of the wooden plank beneath his foot echoing throughout the otherwise silent apartment.

“Harry,” he mumbles, still sounding have asleep. Harry whispers a quiet _yeah_ , and Louis turns to face him. “Can you stay in here? Will you? It’s too quiet and ’m lonely.”

Harry chuckles quietly but agrees nonetheless, shucking off his jeans and t-shirt before climbing in beside Louis.

“We can cuddle, yeah? Nothing wrong with two mates having a good cuddle.” Louis turns into Harry’s body, fillings up the spaces in a way that Harry knows no one else could. “G’night Haz.” Harry feels Louis’ lips brush against his collarbone and he sighs, staying completely still, so as not to disturb Louis.

When he finally hears Louis’ breathing even out again, Harry relaxes against the mattress and manages to catch a few hours of sleep.

~*~

Harry wakes up the next morning to an empty bed, but a mug of warm tea on his table, a note next to it.

                        _Thanks for the cuddle, just what I needed xx_

_-Louis_

_PS: gone shopping, be home soon. maybe._

Harry smiles and sips gingerly at the tea, feeling it settle at the bottom of his empty stomach.

After a quick shower and an even faster wank (he’s a growing boy with needs, fucking sue him), Harry gets dressed and heads into the kitchen to make breakfast.

As he’s eating his toast, his phone rings from somewhere on the couch.

“Hello?” He asks, in his standard, ‘I may be Harry Styles, who’s asking’ voice.

“Don’t you ‘hello’ me, baby brother. Maybe if you checked your caller ID you wouldn’t have to answer like you sit behind a desk from nine to five.”

“Gemma.” He replies pleasantly. “How was your dinner with mom? She grill you yet?”

Harry can hear his sister’s booming laugh through the phone and smiles involuntarily. “It was lovely, H. As always.” She hummed to herself as if she was thinking about the best ways to destroy him verbally, seeing as a phone connection is the only thing she has to torture him right now. “But let’s not talk about me, let’s talk about you. And Louis.”

Harry sighed. “You know about his breakup?”

“How could I not, it’s not like I live under a rock.”

“You smell like you do. I can smell you from here.” He can’t.

He could hear Gemma gasp, but they both know that he was only deflecting. “May I remind you who the educated one is? The one with the degree? Oh, yes. That would be me, baby brother, so. How about you just answer my questions and we can both move on.”

“What kind of questions could you have anyway? I tell you everything.” It’s true, too. The only thing that he keeps secret is extremely personal topics such as how often he wanks and. That’s actually about it. They’re a very open family; the Styles’. It used to be smothering and slightly weird, but now it’s normal for him to call his sister every time there’s a new development with the whole _Louis Situation_. Capital letters and all.

“Well. I frankly have one. _When are you making your move_?” Gemma’s never been one for beating around the bush.

Harry sighs, knowing that this was the only reason she called. “I don’t know, Gem. It’s a bit of a sensitive subject you know.”

“She was his _fake girlfriend_. She literally did her job and left when she wasn’t being paid anymore. That’s what he signed up for.”

“He didn’t _sign up_ for anything. He didn’t want to do it in the first place. He-“ Harry took in a slightly ragged breath, suddenly feeling like he might cry. “I think that he really loved her. I mean, they spent, like, two years together. You kind of grow attached to people in that time; regardless of the situation.” He knows. Louis hasn’t been anything but platonic in his feelings towards Harry, but it took Harry approximately three seconds to fall for the older boy. He’s always fallen quickly; but it’s never been this hard or for this long. Louis just seems to be the exception to each and every one of Harry’s personal rules.

“Do you love him?” Gemma knows this answer, but she obviously is intent on making Harry go crazy.

“You know I do.”

“Then why don’t you-“

“I can’t just tell him that, Gemma!” Harry’s never been one for yelling, but no one seems to understand what’s going on. “He literally just broke it off with someone who he’d been seeing for _two years_ -“

“She was paid-“

“-and I can’t just go around professing my love to my bandmates. Do you not see how badly this could all go?”

“I think that he’s in love with you,” she says in spite of his rant, “but since you’re being a right twat I’m hanging up now. Call me when you’ve told him.” He hears a little click as she hangs up and he holds the phone up to his ear for another few seconds before he even realizes that she’s actually rung off. She never hangs up on him.

Louis walks in now, carrying two arm loads of groceries. He must notice Harry’s blank look because he whistles at him and rattles the bags around a bit. “I could use a little help over here!”

Harry physically jumps and rushes over to grab some bags. “Sorry,” he says, placing them on the counter in the kitchen.

“Why were you looking all blanky-like anyway? Was the kid yours?” The other boys like to keep up with the rumors going around about him. They also liked to tease him mercilessly.

Harry chuckled good-naturedly and shook his head. “No, uh, Gem just hung up on me.”

“Fiz does that all the time, don’t worry about it, mate.” _Mate_. Harry thinks that it’s the _mate_ s that Louis’ constantly tossing in his direction that fuck him over the most. It’s such a tiny little word but it’s so _platonic_. He might as well call him his _dude-bro-pal_. Harry hates that he over thinks things like this. “You’re doing it again,” Louis informs him, reaching across the counter to grasp his arm lightly. Harry jerks away like he’s been burned.

“I’m fine,” Harry tells him seriously, backing away slowly. “Just tired. I think I’m gonna take a nap.” He’s glad that Louis doesn’t question it, seeing as how he’d just woken up a few hours ago.

When Harry is in his room, his back hits the door with a dull thud. It’s not long before he’s sobbing quietly and sliding down the wood like he’s in some dramatic Lifetime movie and he’s the lead who has just had his heart broken.

He hates feeling so melodramatic and childish. It’s just this stupid dumb crush that he just can’t seem to get over. He stops there because he knows, he _knows_ that this isn’t a crush anymore. He’s _in love_ with his best friend and there’s absolutely nothing that he can do about it.

 _You could tell him_ , sings a little voice inside his head, sounding suspiciously like his sister. He could. He _would_. But he can’t because if he does they’ll never go back to the way things were. Louis is the best friend that he could ask for. They talk about anything and (almost) everything together. Louis’ his rock. Louis is the fucking sun and Harry can do nothing but fall into his orbit, spinning helplessly and out of control. Louis is everything to him; the person he loves most in this world, and he can’t do a single thing to get him to love him.

It’s sad, Harry realizes suddenly. He’s spent two years trying to move past this; trying to get over this half-crush half-love _thing_ that’s been consuming him when he should be out and having the time of his life. He has connections around the world; he could be going to parties and out clubbing like the rest of the guys do. Instead he’s done nothing more than waste three of the best years of his life hanging out with old men and golfing.

This is all just so fucked up.

He’s making a plan.

~*~

Harry fucking hates this plan, but what makes it almost worth it is how much _Louis_ hates this plan.

“I’m going out” Harry calls over his shoulder to Louis, who’s been sitting on the couch for the better half of the afternoon, playing on his phone.

“Where are you going?” Louis shifts so his knees are digging into the cushions, leaning forward so he’s pressed against the back of the couch.

“Um. To a club? Not sure which one. Nick’s taking me.”

“Nick.” Louis doesn’t like Nick.

“Yup.” He pops the ‘p’ and grabs his keys from the table by the door. “I’m not sure when or if I’ll be home.” He’s actually pretty good at this; this whole _pretending to be fine_ thing. It’s going remarkably well. Especially since Louis can’t see the way his hands are shaking.

“You’re not coming home?” Harry would say that Louis sounds jealous, but he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. Louis doesn’t love him. Not like _that_. Not in the way that _matters_.

Harry shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise. “I have needs, you know.” How could Louis not know? It’s been months since he’s pulled anyone. And the last time he was so drunk, Louis had to paint a visual for him. That was _not_ a good time for anyone involved.

“Yeah I know, you can’t have a shower without wanking all over the place.” He smiles at him and lowers his voice to mock Harry, “I can tell, _you know_.”

Harry left.

~*~

There’s someone grinding against him. He’s not sure who it is or when they got there, but they- he, it’s definitely a _he_ \- are asking him if he wants to _get out of here_ and Harry just nods in confirmation, silently following the bloke through the packed club, thankful that no one had noticed him.

“Yours or mine?” The man asks quietly, once they’ve burst out into the cool night air. Harry mouths _yours_ distractedly and allows himself to be dragged towards a car a few blocks down.

~*~

Harry wakes up before Jim (that’s not his actual name, but that’s what Harry’s been calling him in his head). He silently pulls on his clothes, leaves a little note in thanks, but no name or phone number. Jim never asked and Harry didn’t tell.

He doesn’t try to be quiet when he gets home. That was the whole point of this after all, to show Louis that he’s _fine_ and _definitely_ not _in love with him or anything_.

“Have fun?” Louis asks, his tone icy as his head pops up from the couch.

“Yeah. Tons.”

“I bet she was ecstatic.”

“He,” Harry corrects. “And it was spectacular.” Not really, it was sub-par, nothing compared to what Louis would-

Nope. No. Derailing that train of thought immediately.

“I hope you were careful. You know what happened with Zayn.”

Harry throws his keys down. This burst of anger and rage becoming too much to handle. “You know what? I don’t even care. I’m so done with all this bullshit, Lou. I’m fucking _bisexual_ not a _criminal_ , or a _murderer_. I’ve not done anything wrong, so fuck this. Just fuck everything and-“ he meets Louis’ eyes from the kitchen. “And fuck you too. I’ll be back.”

Harry doesn’t think, he just turns around, stalking out into the hallway of their apartment building with a determination that he’s never had before.

When he gets in the elevator, he pauses and thinks about all of the things that could happen if he does this. Management will be mad, probably. Not so much over the fact that he said it, but the _way_ that he said it. They would want to hold some sort of press conference and make some kind of grand declaration like this is some kind of big deal when it’s fucking _not_. It’s _not a big deal_ but people seem to think that it is.

He doesn’t think anymore, he just walks into the lobby, ignoring the receptionist’s wave as he stalks towards the doors.

There are a group of paps outside, as usual, and he walks up to the first one he sees. “Are you filming right now?” The woman nods her head, obviously not used to him speaking to them like this. He turns to the camera. “I’m bisexual. I like men. I like women. It’s not a big deal, so don’t make it one.”

He leaves.

There are people calling after him, but he ignores their questions as he walks back inside, taking the stairs up this time.

He doesn’t speak when he comes back inside. He just goes to his room, ignoring Louis’ questions as well.

He doesn’t sleep.

~*~

Three hours later, there’s a knock at his door. “Go away,” he calls petulantly, turning his head into the pillow. The door swings open anyway, and he frowns against the white fabric. “I said-“

“You came out,” Louis says quietly, his voice barely carrying across the room.

“Yeah I did,” Harry says, moving to sit up straighter. He might be a lot of things (stupid, clumsy, horny _all the fucking time_ ), but he’s not ashamed of who he is. “Is that a problem?”

Louis shakes his head slowly, the already small smile slipping away. “You know I’ll always support you, Hazza. That’s what best mates are for, yeah?”

Harry doesn’t respond, he can’t do more than let out a watery sob into his pillow. He hears Louis start to move towards him, but Harry holds out a hand. “I’d like to be alone please.”

Louis leaves.

~*~

He wanted this; that's what he keeps telling himself.

He wanted the freedom to be who he is, he wanted to be able to walk around and hold hands with a guy (preferably Louis, obviously) if he wanted to.

He knew that he's get some backlash. He knew that he'd get called horrible, horrible things, it pains him to know that it's not even just himself that this is happening to. There are other people, teenagers in schools and at the mall and just everywhere and they are having to go through the same things he is. He's lost fucking count of all the insults that have been hurled his way. Some people are happy, proclaiming that they  _knew it_ , others are angry, asking him  _how? how could you be like that? how could you be so disgusting?_. He's losing followers left and right, jumping from nineteen million to fourteen million in the matter of a few days. He tells himself that he doesn't care; that he doesn't want those fans anyway.

But it still hurts.

~*~

“I don’t need to tell you, do I?” Laura, the head of their public relations team, asks. Harry shook his head. This is the first time he’s left the flat in two weeks; he doesn’t need to get yelled at right now. Especially since his emotions are about fifty shades of fucked up and he cried while watching High School Musical last night. “You’ve got to get out there. Try being seen with people, you can’t let the public know that their comments affect you.”

He likes her so much more than the bitchy old man from Modest!. (He likes to add the exclamation point even in his head for the sarcastic fake enthusiasm.)

“What should I do?” He doesn’t want to go out, but if she thinks that it’ll help, he’s willing to try. “Like go to a club?”

“No, no,” she says quickly, reaching across her too-big desk to lay a dainty hand on his arm. “I was thinking more like a casual day out, maybe just go eat some lunch with Nick or, I don’t know really-“ she’s kind of new at this “-just whatever you want. Why don’t you go to the park with Louis? I’m sure that he’s ready to get out of your flat just as much as you are.” She grins. Harry isn’t ready to go out yet. He didn’t even want to take a shower this morning.

“Louis’ not in London. He’s visiting his family.”

Laura’s face contorts into a look of disappointment. “You know he’s supposed to let us know before he-“

“It was a sudden thing,” Harry insists, cutting her off before Louis gets in trouble. Jesus fucking christ, he has a problem. He barrels on. “His sister, Daisy, you know? Yeah. She’s sick and their mom is, um, sick. So, it’s not really-“

“You don’t have to make excuses Harry.” Laura smiles a little. “You’ve not told him yet have you?”

Shit, why does _everyone_ have to know his fucking business?

“No!” Harry bursts, because. Yeah, this is getting a bit ridiculous. “I’m not ruining this.” This could be pretty ambiguous (okay, very ambiguous, whatever), but she seemed to get the gist.

“You won’t know unless you try, love.”

~*~

Louis comes home next week.

Harry's waiting at the door, the words ready to fall from his lips.

"Hey Haz, what's up?"

Harry's nerve crumples, he can't do it.

He tells himself that it's not the right time, that it should be romantic and happy, not when Louis looks so tired and worn out from the ride from Doncaster back to London. It's fine, he has time, he'll say it later.

~*~

Three days after Louis' back, he tries again. This time he's sure it'll happen. Louis' in a good mood because he had a writing session today, and there's nothing that makes him happier than a good writing session.

"Lou," he calls, his voice coming out rougher than he had expected. Goddamn, why does he cry so  _much_? Louis turns on the couch, giving Harry his full attention. "I-" He cuts off, the words physically unable to come out of his mouth.  _I love you_ , he thinks.

"What's wrong, love?"  _Love_. Louis just called him  _love_. That's not  _mate_. It's not platonic and it's- Louis' never done that before. He's never called Harry  _love_ before.

Louis has no idea that with that one little word, he's given Harry  _hope_. There could be a chance for them.

He stills can't utter the three words.

~*~

He's surely over thinking things.

Yeah, Louis been a little bit more touchy-feely than normal, any sadness that he felt from his break up with El has completely dissipated.

It's not even the touchyness that does him in, it's the little comments like  _damn Haz, you look good today_ or _you're my favorite human being ever_ or Harry's personal favorite  _I could just kiss you_ (that one was after Harry had brought Louis a cup of tea one morning. The act was decidedly  _not_ kiss-worthy).

He's been like this since he got back from his mum's house. And, yeah, Jay is a lovely woman, but she's never been able to evoke this kind of unrelenting happiness from Louis before.

When Harry asked about it, Louis just shrugged. "She helped me work some things out," he'd said, smiling at Harry dopily.

~*~

He’s gonna do it. He’s just- just say the words. _I love you_. It’s not hard; three words, three syllables, eight letters.

“You okay Haz?”

No he’s not _fucking_ okay, can Louis not see the goddamn breakdown that Harry is having right now?

Louis’ been back for a week. He’s had seven days to do this, to work up the courage to spit out the words that he thinks every time Louis opens his goddamn mouth. _I love you, I love you, I love you_.

Why is this so hard?

“Fine,” Harry finally mutters, the word sounding harsh and cold.

“You sure?” Louis presses.

He doesn’t do that a lot, he doesn’t press Harry. It’s always a mutual thing between them; they never push each other too much, never wanting to upset the other.

Not unless it’s something important.

Harry can’t- he feels sick. He’s definitely going to throw up. He moves to get up, but Louis reaches out to touch his foot, wrapping a tiny hand around his ankle. “Harry.”

One word: his own fucking _name_. That’s what does him in.

The tears that he’s been holding back are sliding down his cheeks, fat drops sliding over the skin until they’re dripping off his chin.

He falls on the floor beside the couch, having tripped after Louis grabbed his ankle (why did he think that that was a good idea anyway?). He's trying to hold back the sobs that are threatening to wrack his body. Louis presses tighter on his ankle.

"I-" He's got to do this, but he can't, the words have been locked away for so long, he's been unable to utter them in any way that wasn't platonic. He's been fucking _trained_ to not say how he truly feels and now that he  _can_ , he  _can't_. God this entire situation would be hilarious at any other time: Louis gripping his ankle, staring at him expectantly, nodding his head in encouragement when he has no idea that the words that he's  _encouraging_ could ruin  _everything_. _  
_

"Spit it out, Haz," Louis prompts lightly, a grin stretching over his face.

He doesn't understand. “God, I fucking _love you_ , Louis.”

He’s sure that his sister would be delighted with the delivery.

And that’s not even the best part.

Louis laughed. He’s fucking _laughing_.

“Lou, please don’t hate me,” Harry begged, just barely holding back from reaching for Louis’ hand. He buried his face in his own hands instead.

“ _Hate you_?” Louis laughed again, this one sounding watery, like he was crying. Why, why, why was he so stupid? He should've know that this is how it would end.

“Louis please don’t cry, this won’t-” He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes cast downwards. “This won’t change anything, I’m still- I’m still me, I swear. I’m still your best friend.”

“Jesus christ Harry, fucking look at me would you?”

He lifted his head obligingly. Louis was grinning still. Has he been this whole time?

That was… unexpected. “You’re not- you’re not mad?”

“How could I ever be mad at you, Harry?” Louis leaned down, pulling Harry forwards by the front of his shirt at the same time. “I’m pretty much in love with you, you know.”

“You what?”

“Do I have to spell it out?” He grinned and pressed his lips against Harry’s quickly. “I.” Kiss. “Love.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss.

“Not- not in a platonic way?” Harry asked, needing the reassurance.

Louis rolled his eyes playfully. “This is about as far from platonic as we can get, babe.”

 _Babe_. That’s- that’s so _not_ platonic. It’s not _mate_ or _bro_ it’s _babe_. It’s also a significant improvement. It's like  _love_.

“You love me?”

“Okay, now you’re just being cheeky.” He pushed Harry back and then pulled him forwards again to seal their lips together. _Like magnets_ , Harry thinks vaguely. “God, get up here already, would you?”

Harry obeyed, scrambling to place himself beside Louis, sitting close, but not too close, just in case- Nope, no need to worry. Louis' sitting on his lap now, his knees bracketing his hips, arms around Harry's neck.

"Okay, so tell me," Louis begins, resting his forehead against Harry's.  _He's in love_. "When did you know?"

"Know what?" Harry asks, feeling like he was drifting through something slow and think; honey maybe, like he was floating in honey. "When did I know I loved you?" Louis nodded, grinning. "It was maybe a month or two into the X-Factor." Louis gaped at him. Harry blushed. "I mean, I kind of fall quickly for people? I can't help it, really-" He buried his face into Louis neck  _because he can_ do  _that now_.

"You think that's  _quick_?" Louis let out a laugh, quiet and tinkling like a little bell. Harry loves that laugh; Harry loves  _Louis_. "I've known since..." He counted on his fingers even though it was a little difficult since they were still trying to keep their bodies as close as possible. "'Bout four days into the competition. Yeah, that's sounds about right I think."

"You knew and you didn't want to say anything?" Harry has no room to talk, he did the same thing, after all.

"Like you have any room to talk!" Louis leaned back and pushed a finger into Harry's chest. They're so in sync it  _hurts_. In a good way. In the _best way_. "With everything with El and management, it was. It was a lot to deal with so I just kind of pushed it to the back burner, you know?" Yeah. Harry knows. "But then- then you came out and people were being so mean to you but you didn't take it back, you didn't let them change who you are. That's so- You're so perfect Harry. I just love you a lot, okay?" Harry grinned, pulling Louis back into his body, feeling like he can't go longer than a few minutes without his touch. Louis' like a drug; now that he's had it, he can't get enough. He wants and he wants forever and always.

"Why'd you leave then?" Harry asks, the thought coming to his head randomly. Why would he leave if he _knew_ the things people were saying?

Louis smiled softly, not quite enough to crinkle his eyes, but enough to convey the fondness that he feels. "I wanted her opinion, my mom's, I mean. She's been advocating for us to be together since I first told her about you. She was demanding some sort of grand declaration, something with fireworks or planes, she wanted me to spell out  _I love you Harry_ into the sky." Harry smiled because, hey, that would have been nice too. "But I was nervous about what you'd say. I didn't want to do something crazy and then be shot down, you know?"

"Never would have shot you down," Harry mumbles into Louis collarbones. "Love you too much."

Louis giggled (fucking  _giggled_ ) and pulled on Harry's hair to tip his face up. "How much?"

Harry grinned, untangling himself from Louis to spread his arms wide. "I love you  _this_ much."

"You're such a child, quoting nursery books."

" _You're_ the one who recognized it," Harry reminded him. _  
_

Louis leaned forward, Harry eyes tracking the movement of his lips. The feeling in the air shifting from calm and pleasant to _needy_ and  _wanting_. "I have a good idea," he murmured, seating himself more fully on Harry thighs.

"Hmmm?" Harry hums, unable to form a coherent sentence when Louis is swipping his tongue over his bottom lip like that.

"How about," he moved slowly until his lips were an inch from Harry's, staying like that, seemingly content with just breathing Harry's air, "you kiss me."

"I can- I can do that," Harry mumbled even though his body was obviously not responding, hands frozen to Louis' hips, back pressed against the couch.

"Maybe you should-" the rest of his words were swallowed into Harry's mouth as he connected their lips, sealing them together in the most delicious way. His body seemed to kick into overdrive, _all or nothing_ , as they say.

Harry tilted his head up, making it easier for Louis to slip his tongue in, going deep and licking around Harry's mouth until they were both panting and forced to separate for air.

"I love you," Louis reminded him, rubbing the pad of his thumb over Harry's cheek.

"I love you too." He did, he loved him so much; this boy with the bright eyes and soft hair. This boy with the booming laugh and the bitingly sarcastic comments. He grinned connecting their lips again. _Like magnets_. "I love you so, so, _so_ much."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!! Feel free to leave comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> -N
> 
> (Creep at me on tumblr if you'd like: [arrowinheart](http://arrowinheart.tumblr.com/))


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